I have probably just covered more miles in my van in the last week, than I did covering the Kings last season. I arrived back in one piece. A seven day road trip with the guys is tiring. I'm not getting any younger that's for sure.

Caught a lot of fish and ate a lot of fish. But it's back to work. I want to thank Kyle for filling in for me last week.

I didn't win best sports blog of the year. re-calculate the votes !! Something is wrong here.

Well it's countdown to camp. The Kings made a few signings while I was away.

The RiverKings signed rookie forward Matt Piegza for the upcoming season. Piegza had a four-year college career at NCAA Division III Manhattanville College.Again. I'm not to excited about this signing, I'll have to wait till training camp to make judgement.

The Kings also signed another goaltender. His name is Brant Hilton.Hilton played four years at the University of Regina. Hopefully he'll be able to push our other netminders, one will have to go out of the three,

 The Kings signed veteran forward Anthony Battaglia. Battaglia played with the Amarillo Gorillas of the CHL, but also has played in the ECHL, AHL, IHL, and in Europe. Not my pick for a vet player.

The Kings also signed defenseman Andrew Lackner. Lackner is a solid steady D man. The best D -MAN - we have signed so far.

That's it for Kings news and now it's time for Offside Thursday.

 Lets start it off with...

 Did you know ? In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

 It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the "honeymoon".

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

And another via email --this comes by KACY T....

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better. No kidding.

It is impossible to lick your elbow. Now go try it.

 Here's a look at the latest videos making the rounds on YouTube this week.

Dancing Merengue Dog

Everyone wants a dancing dog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc9xq-TVyHI&feature=player_embedded

Please Turn Off Your Phone

There’s nothing we hate more than when people use their cell phones when they aren't supposed to. If only this string quintet (yep, there's five) could show up on our command.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi-co3f8cZE&feature=player_embedded

The Magic is in the Makeup

The lovely Jenna explains how ladies can trick people into thinking they are really good looking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk&feature=player_embedded

Drunk Tent Construction

Everyone remembers the drunk guy who couldn’t put on his flip flops at a summer festival. Well here are TWO drunk guys who can’t put a tent together at a summer festival. Reminds me of Maverick fans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HV9x0w8fXLY&feature=player_embedded

County Law

 I can’t seem to figure out if this woman is saying “county law” or “cantaloupe/ REMINDS ME OF EAGLE FANS TALKING 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4tqXoFnR6k&feature=player_embedded

Federer’s Trick Shot

Everyone is asking is this video real or fake? Did Roger Ferderer actually knock a can off someone’s head? I think it’s fake. He clearly hits the ball in another direction but the angle of the camera provides the perfect illusion.

It’s a clever smoke and mirrors trick What do you think...real or fake ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTl3U6aSd2w&feature=player_embedded

New Glasses

After a visit from the eye doctor, this guy’s new “prescription glasses” are making the simplest tasks extremely difficult. As the video goes on we learn that unfortunate events can always introduce pleasant surprises.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZvAO1677lg&feature=player_embedded

Oh Dad

A prankster father plays a trick on his daughter with her flan dessert. The deception allows for an adorable reaction and a lesson to be learned: Don’t trust Daddy. Just kidding! But be careful next time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I05TvKaufo&feature=player_embedded

Your dance around your desk video of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y01fItAnYc

Your  fight video of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lThlP8tTLP0&feature=related

I'm Joe Sports, have a great day.

The picture is of the great Rocket Richard enjoying the only passion he treasured more than hockey - fishing.

Well, Joe Sports is away for about a week on a fishing trip. No computers and no cell phones. He asked me to keep you up to date on the off season signings by the Riverkings.

So, no Offside Thursday this week.

The Kings signed veteran forward Anthony Battaglia. Battaglia played with the Amarillo Gorillas of the CHL, but also has played in the ECHL, AHL, IHL, and in Europe. I'll let Joe comment on this one.

The Kings also signed defenseman Andrew Lackner. I like this signing. Lackner is a solid steady D man.

That's all that happened last week for the Kings.

Did you know old time hockey players never had all summer to fish or golf or vacation. No, many of them had to work regular jobs to keep the family household afloat. Here's just a few examples I could think of off of the top of my head:

Gordie Howe worked at a golf course

Johnny Bower operated "Bower's Big Boy" restaurant.

Alf Pike was a licensed mortician.

Glen Harmon worked in his wife's hat store.

Butch Bouchard was a bee keeper and honey farmer.

Phil Esposito - worked on construction site.

That's it for today, I'm Kyle Montgomery. Have a great day and week.

I'm not too impressed with the signings we've had so far this off season. We are within two and a half months of some Kings hockey action. I am just not impressed with anything that Kaminski has done so far.

The coach is getting out coached by other teams and the season hasn't even started. I mean, any random fan could put together a team like he's putting together and coach it. It just won't be a winning team. That's why a fan could coach it.

We had a couple of more signings this week, Kaminski signed defenseman Milan Maslonka. He becomes the 12th overall signing and the third defenseman signed. Now we all know Milan. He's a big kid, 6-foot-6, 240 pounds to be exact.

But seriously folks, I know he can fight, but he is extremley slow. I just don't get this signing at all.

Kaminski also signed rookie forward J.J. Koehler. He becomes the eighth forward signed by the team. He's 5-foot-6, 165 pounds. No you are not reading that wrong. I guess we'll have to see what he can do in camp.

Summer may be the most enjoyable time of the season for many. This summer is full of promise - but the hockey season coming up is not.

The line up so far isn't very good. Kaminski has a hell of a lot of work to do, or it's going to be a very long painful season at the rate things are going ..

That's the way I see it and I'm Joe Sports.

In other Kings and sports news...

RiverKings to host Mudbugs in pre-season tilts, travel to Evansville

The RiverKings announced its pre-season schedule.

http://riverkings.com/news/index.html?article_id=2463

Favre back !!

To the surprise of oh, nobody on the planet, Brett Favre will be back for another season with the Minnesota Vikings. The future hall of famer confirmed the inevitable in a press conference Wednesday where he had the audacity to say he was doing the Vikings and his teammates "a favour" by coming back to try to lead them to a Super Bowl. You’re getting $16.5 million US Brett. You’re not really doing anyone a favour,except yourself Brett.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2TZQlVPvjk

Kenny Rogers

You’re all like, "when are you going to post a video about Kenny Rogers scoring on Michael Jordan" and I’m all like, "right now."

http://sports.todaysbigthing.com/2009/09/01

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn481KcjvMo

Well let's get to the good stuff, seeing that there's not much happening with the Kings. It's Offside Thursday time.

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia.. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down into the basement.

Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

PRICELESS

Indian Pole Gymnastics

I can not do this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H1zjRU8hBo

Going Topless - Bikini Photo-Shoot with Katie Price aka Jordan

So here we have one of the sexiest models around: Katie Price, previously known as Jordan during her early modelling career, in a Bikini photo shoot where she shows why she is the most famous big busted model in UK and Australia. Are those things real?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILlohLVR-84

Very Funny Animated Gifs

And more evidence that the internet is full of crazyness, more funny animated GIFs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mieuoiC13pU&feature=player_embedded

Master Card Funny Commercial with Homer Simpson

Watch these funny credit card commercial featuring Homer Simpson:

There are some things money can't buy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ccv4dZHRDE&feature=player_embedded

Guy Plays Mozart With Root Beer Bottles

This guy is not a professional musician. In fact he doesn't even have an instrument. But he can play a sonata from one of the most important classic authors ever: Mozart and his Overture of "Die Zauberflöte". Enjoy this unusual music...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhiP4cNgHxs&feature=player_embedded

Hilarious Beer Commercial

Now we have this commercial about a very natural microbrew beer. You know the kind of beer that is made in very small factories,is almost handmade; since organic food is now a priority to many consumers we have this special beer which is very natural and of course the commercial needs a very "natural" presentation by a gorgeous blonde girl who gives some reinforcement to the campaign allowing her "nature" to go free.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S2VUCdbhg0&feature=player_embedded

Russian News Woman Faints Live on TV

This really cute news woman suffer from a sudden faint live during a television news program. She hit the floor and takes with her all the scenery. Wondering if this have something to do with the sudden "leak" of gas she has suffered...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFAfC_y8Oto&feature=player_embedded

Host farts on live TV show.

We all have been in some kind of embarrassing situation, probably in front of some friends or in front of people we barely know, but what about farting in front of millions of tv viewers. This TV host show us how to be real confident in front of a big television audience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQtfpXkzHTI&feature=player_embedded

Crazy Guy Rocking in Top of a Car

There's people for everything in this world. You will find people everywhere doing crazy things to call attention from the public. Sometimes people like the guy in this video find some crazy and dangerous way to become famous. Like Warhol once said everybody will have his moment of fame and this crazy guy with a electric guitar on top of a car on a highway is famous now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3u1QlKUAHI&feature=player_embedded

Crazy Ping-Pong Clip

The Ping-Pong game is always full of amazing surprises. It's a game based on speed and mental quickness but sometimes things can get a little weird when the players make unexpected plays that makes every play a little more chaotic than the previous one. If you like Ping-Pong, you will enjoy this crazy match for sure. The guy in the red t-shirt can respond to almost anything... Hire them Killer, they have great hands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga6zAEB9fOM&feature=player_embedded

Your dance around your desk video for the day. Just Wonderin what Killer is doing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a6A6oTFdcw&feature=player_embedded#

Fight video of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5LhY2lSlHk

That's it for now. Have a great day. I'm Joe Sports.

A couple of tranactions for the Kings in the past week. The RiverKings signed rookie forward Ryan Kretzer for the 2010-11 season. Kretzer is the seventh forward signed. A famous quote from Kaminski, which we've heard may times before( "Ryan is small in stature, but plays with grit, heart and passion." ) The kid is suppose to be a speedster, the only thing I worry about is his size 5-foot-7, 170 pounds, but that's what traning camps are for.

Well, I did not get my wish. The Kings have signed another netminder, his name is Kyle McNulty. He becomes the eleventh player signed by the team for the upcoming season.

Here's a quote from Kaminski."Kyle is extremely focused, loves to win, and he keeps himself in great shape. Kyle will also push Larry (Sterling) for the number one job. The competition for goalies this year is going to be fun. Push Sterling, I don't think so. I JUST HOPE THEY FIGHT THE OPPOSING TEAM AND NOT EACH OTHER.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddXkpk_C7v4&feature=related

Now don't get me wrong, I think McNulty is not a bad goaltender. Out of the two goalies, I think he has the edge. But folks, both these goaltenders (McNulty-Sterling) are hot and cold. They are backup netminders, not # 1 guys.

Kaminski made the call. He will have to live with it. Looking for a #1 netminder half way through the season because of bad play or tantrums(well, we all know that doesn't work).

Am I ready to sacrifice this year?No, I'm not.The problem is we've been in this same position for years upon years now. While the Kings have defensive problems the biggest problem without a doubt is their goaltending situation.

Kaminski, maybe you should have traded for a #1 netminder. To get a good goalie, the Kings would likely have to give up something good in return. We do have some players that could be trade bait.

If the Kings want to have a realistic shot at having a decent season, or even of making the playoffs, such a move might well be warranted. The Kings aren't marked by any obvious signs of greatness or even goodness at this point.

Maybe we could sign a netminder with this approach- Win-now, don't pay until 2013- THAT MIGHT WORK.

Maybe the heat is getting to Killer. The Weight is on your shoulders Killer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLkmbLoaORU&feature=related

That's the way I see it and I'm Joe Sports.

 In other sports news....

Ex King retires...

Cote retires  named assistant coach with Phantoms

Flyers forward Riley Cote has retired and will become an assistant coach with the Adirondack Phantoms.Cote, 28, played 156 games with the Flyers. He had one goal, six assists and 411 penalty minutes.He played three seasons with the Phantoms, when the Flyers’ AHL affiliate was based in Philadelphia.Good luck Riley!

He's a hell of a nice kid. Have a look at this Cote fight.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmVgDnvpazo

A one hitter

Stacey Pettis was taking an elevator to the lobby when his phone rang Sunday afternoon. Pettis, the Seattle Mariners scout who signed Brandon Morrow, kept the call short. "Can I call you when the game is over? I’m trying to listen on my iPhone," Pettis said, as the Blue Jays right-hander retired Rays’ Jason Bartlett leading off the ninth to keep his no-hit bid intact.

Carl Crawford lined out to left, getting Morrow to within an out of the second no-hitter in franchise history.

 Brandon Morrow Gatorade Shower and Pie After 1 Hitter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Stit4-vWbk

Well, that was ugly. ugly, ugly, ugly. It's the only way to truly describe the first round of the Bridgestone Invitational in the eyes of Tiger Woods. We've seen him struggle this year with his golf game, from missed putts at big moments at the Masters to putter changes at St. Andrews, but nothing like this. Put it this way: You can go on some dates here or there, but you always know the girl you have your eyes set on.

That is Firestone for Tiger. This is his baby. This is the golf course that has yielded seven of his 71 PGA Tour wins.

I think Tiger needs to have 5-6 girlfriends at one time.

Well it's time for Offside Thursday.

 Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

Enfield (London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

Actor Kelsey Grammer is set to be a dad for the fifth time. The 55-year-old Frasier star has found love with Kayte Walsh, who at 29 is 26 years his junior, just weeks after his wife Camille Donatacci filed for divorce last month, citing "irreconcilable differences". Walsh's father Alan, has confirmed the new couple is already planning to settle down after learning the blonde Brit is pregnant. Dirty old man. Good work Kelsey.

Frasier Bloopers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-VuPbXE_bI&feature=related

Kelsey Grammer on Letterman (5-2-03)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4Ca3YJVtHs

Monologuing on Cheers

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuXhxWg4Q10

Another dirty old man

Father-of-six Rod Stewart is in seventh heaven - his wife Penny Lancaster is pregnant again. The rock legend, 65, is already dad to five kids - Kimberly, Sean, Ruby, Renee, Liam - with three different women, as well as four-year-old Alistair, with Lancaster. Good work Rod.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lZYAaQoks8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCjzeqcb3AU&feature=related

Has America's Got Talent/They've found a pint-sized, blond, adorable, U.S. version of Susan Boyle?

It's starting to look that way - and sound that way - as an opera singing 10-year-old Jackie Evancho wowed viewers on the show Tuesday. She's awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPITHzdUUDk

Beyonce in topless photo shoot

 Beyonce is set to shock her young fans after posing topless and covered in fake tattoos for a racy new photoshoot. The former Destiny's Child singer is seen in several shots for her fashion brand, House of Dereon, wearing just a pair of black and silver leggings and leather boots. Shocking-very shocking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLLBfxKMCgs

Juke Box Blues

Actress Reese Witherspoon is in talks to sing again on the big screen - in a movie about legendary entertainer Peggy Lee.Witherspoon showed off her vocals as June Carter in Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line, a role which landed her Oscar gold in 2006. She'll pull it off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn-4nsTMk5M

Mel oh Mel

Mel Gibson postponed his deposition date in his ongoing child custody battle with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva this week because he was away on a family fishing vacation.I hope he was with his child and not the boys. HERE HE IS WITH THE BOYS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLrrBs8JBQo&feature=related

Super Slo- mo in the South Pacific

For the first time the high tech slow motion cameras of the BBC caught on tape a surfer riding the powerful waves of the south pacific. This video shows in extreme detail the huge waves. These are the first shots of its kind ever recorded. This is unreal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BOhDaJH0m4&feature=player_embedded

Funny Infomercial Bloopers

Infomercials are very funny just like that, and when something goes wrong on live TV there are even funnier...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwAV5bsXrQw&feature=player_embedded

Worst special effects ever and movie acting ever! "The Eden Formula"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97eHwbtkBmw&feature=player_embedded

Obama and the Oil Spill - Auggie Smith

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYKB750SGjo&feature=player_embedded

When I think about hockey- I think about ice

I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching clips where journalists mess up.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1Sk8RTxTzk

Reporter On Thin Ice

 http://www.break.com/index/reporters-fails-on-thin-ice.html

Now here is some thin ice

http://www.break.com/index/zamboni-falls-through-the-ice.html

Your dance around your desk video for the day.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAVhKjsImeI&feature=related

Fight of the day Why not another Cote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC0TatWQDls&feature=related

That's it for today, I'm Joe Sports

The times they are a-changin and in my joesports@ymail,com mail box there were 110 comments about my article last week on the signing of  goaltender Sterling. I would say 90% ageed with me. What is Kaminski thinking ?

Should we second guess the great Kaminski(The Great Houdini)? I have to say yes, we have to. The season hasn't even started and we're not looking too good between the pipes.( The most important posistion on the team.)

What do you really know about the men behind the masks, the ones who patrol your team’s crease? Are they nice guys; do they talk to their goalposts; can they clear the puck well? Most importantly, when your team really needs them, can you trust your goaltender?

Batting around that question in our heads. I have a problem with the signing of our new(re-cycled goaltender).

Kings fans are unfortunately very familiar with poor goaltending, over the last 5 years. We cannot afford to fool around. Over the last five years the Kings crease has been like a revolving door, with Kings fans bearing witness to the brief and forgettable CHL careers. Last year was no different. Here's the list folks, Ray Jean,Kevin Beech,Tim Boron,Kyle McNulty,Mark Sibbald,Ian Keserich and Tyler Sims. Am I right, is that 7 goaltenders?

Maybe, Kaminski, just can't pick netminders. The Kings haven’t had a keystone starter in net since the days of Mark Richards and back-up Jean-Francois Racine.( the plane traveller). Are we getting scrap yard finds in the past years?

Yet, as they say, the first step in recovery is admitting there is a problem. And the first key in acquiring a number one backstop is to understand the need followed by doing what it takes to snag the sometimes extremely expensive commodity.

It appears the Kings are not ready to do what it takes. There is probably some sort of irony involved in the Kings inability to get a a starter between the pipes. $$$$. But it is the most important. While it is still possible to get a surprise late signing like a Penner ( not likely), the goalie market is rather thin.

Kaminski has not concentrated on getting a number one goalie in years, actually since he started coaching at the pro levels. He just doesn't get it. I'm tired of getting re-treads.

Technically, our goaltending is exactly the same as it was last year, unless we get a big signing,

Hopefully this doesn't happen to us this season...I hope Sterling can't do cartwheels on ice.

Have  alook at this - this netminder gets a bit cocky and does cartwheels while he waits for the opposing team to take a shot.

http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/goalie-does-cartwheels-17112009.html

As I said , tonight's starting goaltender is ????

 I'm Joe Sports and that's the way I see it.

The Kings signed forward Matt Summers to the roster for the 2011-11 CHL season. Sorry folks , I love the guy, but he had a terrible season last year. Not my choice. But lets see what he can do, training camp is not that far away and as we all know these contracts are worth nothing until the season begins.

CHL Commissioner Duane Lewis announced that the league will recognize two figures for both the CHL and the International Hockey League (IHL) as the title names for the league’s two respective conferences for the 2010-11 season.

The CHL announced on June 1 that they have affiliated with the IHL with five teams joining the CHL for the upcoming season (Bloomington, Dayton, Evansville, Fort Wayne and Quad City). The new conference alignment announced in July will bear the names of Joseph Turner, the Turner Conference, and N. Thomas Berry, Jr., the Berry Conference.

The team that captures the Turner Conference will win the newly created Turner Trophy and the team that captures the Berry Conference will claim the N. Thomas Berry Trophy. More of the story here..

http://centralhockeyleague.com/pressroom/news/index.html?article_id=4782 It's

Offside Thursday time.

A Canadian woman accused of attacking "Inception" star Leonardo DiCaprio in the face with a beer bottle in 2005 was ordered on Wednesday to stay at least 500 yards away from the actor. Damm Canadians. They are so mean.

Jeff Goldblum has quit his role on hit drama Law and Order Criminal Intent because of the "uncertainty" of the show's future. I didn't know he was on the show.

George Clooney's girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis has hit out at spiteful critics who question her motives for dating the Hollywood star, insisting they are simply jealous of her happiness.

The Italian model and TV presenter has been dating the Ocean's Eleven star since last summer but admits she is still hurt by the constant attacks on her character, suggesting she is using Clooney for his fame. I have the same problem with my wife. She married me because I looked like George Clooney.(No kidding)

Justin Bieber has signed a publishing deal to tell his life story at the age of 16. Jezze I want to buy that.

You tube and video time...

 Beer Factory Runned by Hot Girls!

This could probably be the fantasy of most men, or at least of most men I know: A Beer Factory Runned by Hot Girls! And because the temptation is to strong, most men will do anything to enter into this factory...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzAxWWL4wZA&feature=player_embedded

Best Stand Up Comedy Ever!

Mitch Fatel- Same -remember bad language.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgMrX3r27KU&feature=player_embedded

Have you ever lost the remote

The Most Dramatically Normal Day Ever

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR-F3gr_bvA&feature=player_embedded

Shakira - Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) Soccer is a great sport with music

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRpeEdMmmQ0

A couple of gals - SINTA AND JOJO KEONG RACUN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQTyj3I2WxE

I want to be a Billionaire...No kidding a million doesn't cut it anymore.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1db60AoN8BA

Your dance video of the day

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DO8GsIYfhQ

Your fight video of the day...

 http://comedy.com/2010/05/20/wtf-video-of-the-day-deer-fight/

That's it for today. I'm Joe Sports, have a great day.

It's time for Offside Thursday. But before I get that started, let's have a look at what's happening with the RiverKings and a bit of CHL and other sporting news.

The Kings announced that veteran forward Louis Dumont has re-signed with the team for the upcoming 2010-2011 season. Glad to have Louie back.

The Kings also signed defenseman Tyler Wooddisse from the Allen Americans in exchange for the rights to defenseman David Simoes. That's a bummer, I really liked David, he was a team player. A big loss here for the Kings.

This is a strange signing by Killer and I mean strange. He has signed goaltender Larry Sterling. I had quite a few negative e-mails last week about the Kings goaltending. Boy, my box will be filled this week.

I'll say it again:we will be in big trouble if we can't sign a legit netminder. Sterling is not. I was joking in my April fools article, I said then that Sterling was signed. I guess Kaminski took me seriously.

The revolving goalie door is still alive in the Riverking organization.The Kings have had a rotating door at starting goalie and backup goalie for quiite a few years. Next week I'll have more on this signing. I'm still in shock.

Here's what we get/ I guess this is why Killer let Simoes go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uJPgunO-xA

This kid might be available Killer.

 http://video.canadiancontent.net/55082672-mats-sundin-nike-commercial.html

The CHL announced that Rapid City would host this year's All-Star game on January 12th in the Rushmore Plaza Civic Center Arena. Good Pick.

Over the weekend, the Allen Americans announced that their number one goaltender from last season, Chris Whitley is going to be back. He's a solid netminder.

The Colorado Eagles have signed netminder Tim Boron.(another Kings netminder gone, I would have picked him over Sterling) Andrew Penner has not signed yet, but I'm sure he will.

Orange Shoes

San Francisco Giants reliever Brian Wilson has reportedly been fined $1,000 by the league for wearing all-orange shoes against the Marlins on Tuesday. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Wilson's shoes were nonconforming and needed to be at least 50 percent black, the standard Giants shoe color.$1000 bucks won't hurt him.

T.O.

 Terrell Owens isn’t doing too badly for a football player who last year couldn’t catch up to his own shadow. Despite a season of mediocrity, the NFL’s biggest sideshow has found work with the Cincinnati Bengals. Reports out of Cincinnati indicate Owens has inked a one-year deal that will pay him $2 million in base salary and could earn an additional $2 million in incentives. He is a team cancer. We have one of those on the RiverKings team also.

Ok, it's time for Offside Thursday...

In the News An Austrian man (who we will not name before his trial) is reported to have stormed into a bank on the main street of Vienna (Bawag Bank) brandishing a gun, recently, according to reports we have seen on Ananova.

Unfortunately for him he was quickly cornered as, next door, was the home of the country's special forces headquarters and a police station. He retreated to the first floor of the bank and grabbed three members of staff and a customer. He then proceeded to agree loans with customers on the telephone before he eventually gave himself up to the police after a five hour seige.

Staff at the bank then had to contact those given loans to check their details. Nobody was hurt. NOW THAT'S THE KIND OF BANK MANAGER I WOULD LIKE.

Now this is COOL

Too lazy to get up off your backside to get another beer? What you need is the new beer launching fridge.... 22 year old inventor John W. Cornwell has invented a fridge that catapults a beer to you, and it's all under remote control... The contraption holds 10 beers in the mini-fridge, with up to 14 held in reserve. It cost 'several hundred dollars' to develop and took about 3 months to perfect. ORDER ME ONE HONEY.

A MOVIE ABOUT FACEBOOK. Looks very interesting.

http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/20889647/standardformat

Best celebration ever in football -These boys no how to celebrate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKlucE-5nIM&feature=player_embedded

LOOK AT YOURSELF AFTER WATCHING THIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE&feature=player_embedded

Pug sings Batman theme

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrIp3k5pJQM&feature=player_embedded

Happiest DJ on earth - This guy loves his job

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZrEWwbjMK4&feature=player_embedded

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time | Greatest Movie Insults of All Time / Warning/Remember Bad Language is in this video.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEvDCmjshOo&feature=player_embedded

World Cup 2010 Sexy Babes/ NOW THATS SOCCER -WOW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVr_fRFMeRc

Your dance around your desk video for the week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

Best hits in hockey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaK5o6j42zc&feature=related

Your fight video of the week

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBLL3s8tUU4&feature=related

That's it for now. I'm Joe Sports

So back to business. I had a good holiday. I had a fun time. Most nights I was drinking and having fun. The family reunion was a family reunion. Yes, I am still working out the bugs.

The day of the reunion was a swelteringly hot day but there was a pool at the hotel, and a couple of kegs of cheap beer. Lot's of drunk uncles and cousins.

The photogapher, which the family hired, Carrie, who was a former Miss California was there. wowowwwwwwwwww.

Oh, and my sister-in-law Fione, who had just turned 50, crept off and got a tattoo while everyone else was partying.

Then of course Uncle Mitch One Liners

A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.

You might be a redneck if you attend your family reunion to pick up chicks.

You might be a redneck if your family reunion is held at a rest area.

Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!

We put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Relatives are people who come to dinner who aren't friends .

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable

Oh shucks it's all in the family:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d8FTPv955I

Enough about the reunion, lets get to: what's happening with the Kings.

Personally, I'm not thrilled about the signings Kaminski has done so far for the RiverKings. But I am counting down the days to training camp.

They have so many pieces to the puzzle. I'm not exactly sure what the coach is doing, but he's the head coach, not I.

The RiverKings announced their first player signing of the off-season a few weeks ago.Team captain and defenseman Derek Landmesser is back, is that good news or bad news. To me, I thought he would retire, he's way to slow for this league and he's not a team captain anymore.

Darrell Stoddard has re-signed to play for the team next season. I'm happy with this signing.Stodds is like fine wine, he becomes better with age.Stodds is a threat in the offensive zone and a physical presence on the ice.

The RiverKings also signed a rookie forward named Jordan Lane. I've never seen the kid, but he's big, he plays left wing -Born Jul 12 1989 -- Whitehorse, Yukon Ter. Height 6.08 -- Weight 250 -- Shoots L. 250 pounds. He played last year with the Neepawa Natives of the MJHL.( The Manitoba Junior Hockey League in Canada).

The problem I have right away with this kid, can he move at all? I'm sure he can fight. I'll withhold judgment until I see him on the ice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CESIjL2AW-U

The Kings have also signed forward R.G. Flath to the roster, he played last year with the Corpus Christi IceRays. I'll make judgement in training camp.

The Kings also signed defenseman Tyler Sheldrake. He played his rookie season with the Corpus Christi IceRays. I'll hold judgement on this signing also.

One more signing for you....the signing of forward Matt Boyd to the team’s roster. The 25-year old played with the Green Knights of St. Norbert College in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I'll have to see what he can do in training camp.

Alright guys and gals, I know I've beaten the hell out of this question for a long time, but are we going to sign a veteran goalie or a netminder that can stop rubber.

I know there just aren't too many good goalies around, but seriously folks we have been a goalie graveyard for about 4 years.

We may not like it but the truth is always the truth.We still don't have the goaltending to take us anywhere. There's an old saying - 'If you always do what you've always done: you won't go anywhere." Remember Suitcase Smith?

That's what happened last year with the Kings. More goaltenders went through the RiverKing's system than previous years. It was the year of Rent-a-Goalie.

A goalie can steal a game and a goalie can steal an entire series.

We have to get a netminder that can stop the puck. We had a team last year that could have won it all, goaltending was our problem.

There may be some roster issues to be settled when the Kings begin training camp, but what it boils down to, goaltending is the issue.

Last year and the year before under the direction of Kaminski, goaltending has been the problem. I have always believed that goaltending is by far the most important position in hockey and have claimed it can make or break any teams season.

I have claimed that the main reason that the Kings have failed to make it to the Presidents Cup is because of bad goaltending. Many others have scoffed at this claim blaming everything from bad defense to bad offense. Which is a bunch of BULL.

I f your a smart hockey fan, it's obvious, have you been to a game where the other teams goalie stands on its head. We've outshot them 50 -17 and we lose 4-1. Sound familiar.

It's the truth and I'm sticking with it. The goaltending situation is serious for the Kings. Without a legit number one netminder, we are not going anywhere., I hope this doesn't Bug you...(Ken Carroll, do you want to come out of retirement)

That's the way I see it, I'm Joe Sports.

TEE ITUP

The Kings are having there seventh annual RiverKings Golf Scramble, September 30th, 2010. The tournament will be played this year at the Ridgeway Country Club, located at 9800 Poplar Avenue, in Memphis. The cost to play in the tournament will be $500 per four-person team or $125 per individual.

Go to the Kings website for more info.http://riverkings.com/fanzone/golf/

I know I'll be there.

My golf expert has a few words to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qPrR49qsDc

Back to hockey...The CHL announced the conference alignment for the 18 teams for the 2010-11 season as well as the dates of each team’s home openers this Fall. The CHL announced on June 1 that they have affiliated with the International Hockey League (IHL) marking the 19th year of hockey for the CHL and the 60th year of professional hockey for the IHL.

The new conference alignment will split the teams into two conferences of nine teams with the conference reflecting the geography of the North and South. In the very near future, the two conferences will be given names reflective of the histories of both the CHL and IHL and new trophies will be introduced for the conference champions, the regular season champions and the league champions.

The league’s Board of Governors has approved the following conference alignment for the 2010-11 season:

North

Bloomington PrairieThunder

Colorado Eagles

Dayton Gems

Evansville IceMen

Fort Wayne Komets

Missouri Mavericks

Quad City Mallards

Rapid City Rush

Wichita Thunder

South

Allen Americans

Arizona Sundogs

Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs

Laredo Bucks

Mississippi RiverKings

Odessa Jackalopes

Rio Grande Valley Killer Bees

Texas Brahmas

Tulsa Oilers

Opening night for the 19th CHL season will be Friday, October 15th when 12 teams will take the ice marking six home opening games. Opening night hosts will be the Allen Americans, Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs, Colorado Eagles, Missouri Mavericks, Rio Grande Valley Killer Bees and Tulsa Oilers.

The reigning Ray Miron Presidents’ Cup Champion Rapid City Rush will open their 2010-11 season on Saturday, October 23 and the team that hoisted the International Hockey League’s Turner Cup as the league champions, the Fort Wayne Komets, will open their home schedule on Saturday, October 16.

The dates of the home openers for the CHL’s clubs are:

Allen Americans – Friday, October 15

Arizona Sundogs – Friday, October 22

Bloomington PrairieThunder – Friday, October 22

Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs – Friday, October 15

Colorado Eagles – Friday, October 15

Dayton Gems – Saturday, October 16

Evansville IceMen – Saturday, October 23

Fort Wayne Komets – Saturday, October 16

Laredo Bucks – Saturday, October 23

Mississippi RiverKings – Saturday, October 16

Missouri Mavericks – Friday, October 15

Odessa Jackalopes – Thursday, October 28

Quad City Mallards – Saturday, October 16

Rapid City Rush – Saturday, October 23

Rio Grande Valley Killer Bees – Friday, October 15

Texas Brahmas – Friday, October 22

Tulsa Oilers – Friday, October 15

Wichita Thunder – Saturday, October 16

The new playoff format, a total of 16 teams will compete for the President's Cup. 16 TEAMS- That's a joke. Come-on, why don't you just make it 18 teams.

The top eight teams from each conference. The playoffs will consist of four rounds, conference quarter-finals, conference semi-finals, conference finals, and the league championship series. The conference quarter-finals and conference semi-finals will be a best-of-five series.

The conference finals and league championship series will be best-of-seven series. Sorry folks I don't agree with this. You have to make every game count in a season. With this format, you don't have to.

That's it for now, I got all the serious stuff out of the way, it's now time for Offside Thursday.

Ok, you've heard the news. Kovalchuk signs a 17-year, $102-million. 17 years, what are the Devils thinking. Don't they remember what happened to the Islanders deal with Rick DiPietro a 15-year contract. The guys always hurt.

Here's what the NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly had to say Wednesday:

"The contract has been rejected by the League as a circumvention of the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Under the CBA, the contract rejection triggers a number of possible next steps that may be elected by any or each of the NHLPA, the Player and/or the Club. "In the interim, the player is not entitled to play under the contract, nor is he entitled to any of the rights and benefits that are provided for thereunder. The League will have no further comment on this matter pending further developments."

Good work Bill. Gordie Howe played until he was 52 and was never paid millions.Maybe Kovy was planning for the day when he can play with his sons.

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. I did not know that.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

IN THE NEWS:

The numbers of naked sleepwalkers has increased 7 fold in the last year at Travelodge, according to reports we have seen on the internet. It is claimed that, in the last year, more than 400 naked sleepwalkers were reported strolling around the world wide hotel chain, most of them men.

Managers at Travelodge have been told to keep a supply of towels in reception to hand to the naked guests when the need arises. In one incident, police were called to arrest a naked guest when he got locked out of a hotel. The top two questions asked by naked sleepwalkers at reception is:

"Can I have a newspaper, please?" and "Can I check out, please?"

I guess I won't be staying at a Travel Lodge.

A booking mix up has been blamed for a stripper entering a High School classroom and doing a strip, down to her undies, for a schoolboy while his class mates and teacher looked on... The Sun, a British tabloid, reports that this happened in a drama class at Arnold Hill School, Nottingham, UK.

A man in a gorilla suit was originally booked and the teacher had approved it. However a busty stripper, dressed as a police woman, turned up... ... she started off by putting a dog collar on the boy ... ... she spanked him 16 times ... ... she stripped down to her underwear ... ... she asked him to rub cream into her backside... It was at this point that the teacher stepped in.

The boy ran out of the class...A birthday he'll never forget.

There once was a little girl called Margret who got a pencil stuck in her head. (This is not a funny funny real news story, this is a funny peculiar news story.)

The reports we saw on Ananova, quoting the BBC, don't say how this actually happened. The German girl was just 4 years of age. The year: 1952. Surgeons removed a large part of the pencil at the time, but decided it was too dangerous to operate because the pencil was lodged too close to the brain.

They left a 2.1cm portion of the pencil embedded in soft tissue behind her nose. For years she suffered nosebleeds and headaches until, now, 59 years of age, medical advances meant they could take a calculated risk and remove it. She's doing well and no longer has headaches and is getting her sense of smell back too.

Imagine it.

You get a free scratch card from your local garage, the top prize is $1000. The scratch card says you have a 50,000:1 chance of winning. You scratch. You win! OK, it's only $1000 but life has never been this good. You have never won anything like this before in your life.

You go to collect your prize. Sorry, sir, ma'am, there was an error in the production of the cards... It turns out that every one of the 50,000 cards was a winner. Expensive? This happened at a Roswell car dealership. And we assume there is some small print somewhere that says they don't have to pay up, either... The manager of the car dealership was really sorry and has offered a $5 Walmart voucher to all visitors with a card... The events promotions company was blamed for the foul up...A $5.00 Wal-Mart voucher...wow !!

WHAT'S ON THE INTERNET IN VIDEOS THIS WEEK

Need a laugh here's the 10 Funniest Movie Scenes from 1997-2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBFVCaLkbXM&feature=player_embedded

Lord of the Rings Benny Hill chase

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cFucXYlw94&feature=player_embedded

What's the problem with Americans - THE SARAH PALIN BOOK SIGNING

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKKKgua7wQk&feature=player_embedded

America, The Beautiful : Ray Charles '91

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghz4_kikLkE&feature=player_embedded

Hey Grandpa can dance

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c4a_1277593524

Hey, I knew the Jetsons plane would be here someday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo0MEQSGW8w

What's Thursday without the Flying Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBeUMyf5Lis&feature=player_embedded

Birdman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knKG-ZcHs-U&feature=player_embedded

Extreme Skydiving - This is amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxo7IznQnk

He loses the game on this serve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icrhLuqfSWI&feature=player_embedded

Bodybuilding is a Pain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjyQX4c8xoY&feature=player_embedded

Crazy Ninja

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_tX20OJ344&feature=player_embedded

Your dance around your desk video of the week...The King...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTYg2Q-vDJ0&feature=related

Here's your fight video of the week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fWvub_WBho

That's it for now, I'm Joe Sports.

Not a hot bed of news coming out of the RiverKings office these days. I mean there's nothing to report. Kaminski is off to visit his family.So, maybe no news will be good news down the road.

Yep, soccer IS boring, As a red-blooded patriotic American, I hate soccer. Yet, I can't ignore that it's still the most watched TV sport in the world, while great exciting sports like NHL and NFL aren't.

Someone explain to me: how can such a boring, unappealing sport be watched by people overseas and do they actually get excited by such a boring sport...is it because foreigners like being bored?

Don't they like excitement like the NHL OR NFL?

And like soccer isn't a long game. Hello, it takes forever.

Which one is faster ? 1. Watching paint dry or 2. Watch someone score a goal in soccer or 3. A snail travelling 10m

Watching Paint Dry -I can't believe this video has had more than 179,000 views...people have to much time on their hands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1VEY7ndKCs&feature=related

The Simpsons take on Soccer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noOHdTQd6H8

Here's a funny story about this funny sport.

Bruce Cappon refers to the organized sport (soccer) his son plays as "farceball." His 17-year-old son Kevin has been playing recreational house soccer in the Gloucester Dragon's league for five years. Last year the league results weren’t 100% accurate,

Bruce said, because a win was never written-up as more than a five-point differential, no matter what the score. "We had a mercy rule, they’d stop counting," Kevin said. "But what they’re doing this year is ridiculous." What they’re doing is taking the mercy-scoring up a notch. Any team that wins by more than a five-point differential, loses. Ain't that a laugh. What's wrong with people today ?

Now this is more like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=iWIUp19bBoA

Well it's time for Offside Thursday.

So I'm off to "Battle Family Reunion." I might be crazy, but doesn't that sound like a great reality show?

Top 17- Why your family is Dysfunctional ?

17.New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family.

16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA.

15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer.

14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch.

13. Bikers next door always complaining about the noise.

12. Local police save money by making your house a precinct substation.

11. Brother is writing nostalgic screenplay, "A Menendez Family Christmas."

10. Your new little sister is named after a famous serial killer.

9. Holidays usually celebrated by sniffing glue and kicking a toaster around the house.

8. Your son informs you he doesn't care to be your cellmate anymore.

7. You have to buy separate Mother's Day cards for each of Mom's personalities.

6. Family discussions usually begin with, "Put the gun down."

5. You *finally* get your work published in a major newspaper and your rat-bastard brother sics the Feds on you.

4. Instead of saying grace before dinner, father reads a passage from Penthouse Forum.

3. Thanksgiving Dinner consists of Wild Turkey instead of roast turkey.

2. Didn't make today's Top Five List? Dad holds ya, Mom beats ya.

1. No more sunny breakfast nook now that kitchen is a methamphetamine lab.

They actually have a site for family reunions

http://family-reunion.com/activity.htm

Family reunion

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called 'Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.'

When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.

Oh shucks We Are Family !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcaLilOV1AI

All kidding aside, I'm going to have a great time...remember "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."

Impersonations by Kevin Spacey/He's good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKKDKAKNH-k&feature=related

On-Star Christopher Walken NSA tap /Now this is funny, the On-Star guy really likes his job.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seLOMGM3pm8

OT in Tennis

Wimbledon's modern-day gladiators John Isner and Nicolas Mahut will return to battle it out for a third day on Court 18 to finish one of the most incredible tennis matches ever played.

The longest on record by a country mile with the clock at exactly 10 hours when play was suspended due to poor light at just after 9pm, with the score standing at an incredible 4-6, 6-3, 7-6(9-7) 6-7(3-7), 59-59. By the time the contest was halted, the two protagonists could barely stand, let alone make it back to the locker room.

They will have to make the return journey on Thursday, when battle resumes as the third match on the same court. Now that's a match. It continues today.

100 GREATEST HITS OF YOUTUBE IN 4 MINUTES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BudhFVnN2o0

Super Mario on the violin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjcFQquHipE&feature=player_embedded

Nothing can stop this bowler- I can make a shot like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyUmEgvq3B0&feature=player_embedded

Craig's got talent Forget Paul Potts - here's the baton-twirler who should have won.Even Simons smiling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=w8q5QJOwoG4

Guy Goma on News24 He turned up for a job interview but ended up on TV.The host has no clue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=zWAvHnfJsOQ

Ice hockey shock USA stun favourites USSR in 1980 Winter Olympics final, aka the "Miracle on Ice".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fztlLwgSFCg

You'll love this one...your dance around your desk video of the week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=zqfFrCUrEbY

Brazilian baby dancing samba

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X0AamE1Bxs&feature=player_embedded

Only the Swiss

Are we the only ones who can see a flaw to this new idea, just in from Switzerland? (Or perhaps we're being too cynical and religious people in Switzerland really are carbon copies of Ned Flanders (The Simpsons).)

The idea is that a couple who want to divorce go back to the church in which they were married to have a Service Of Divorce. We can't wait for the youtube.com videos to start rolling in... But apparently this is not a joke, according to Ananova. A spokesman for the Zurich Reform Church told reporters: "Going through a ceremony like this is a way of showing God that the marriage is over."

Man suing Wife

So, you have a nagging wife... Look on the bright side, you might be able to sue her ass for compensation. According to Ananova, an Italian husband from Parma is doing just that, claiming that his wife's constant nagging has left him impotent.

He wants $280,000 compensation, which should either shut her up once and for all, or make her even angrier, it's probably too close to call. It is even reported that he has 'medical evidence' to back up his claim that her constant nagging has left him too stressed out to perform.

If you ask me, you should YouTube her reaction when he tells her what he's doing. Instant hit.

Make sure you know where the wife is working.

Polish tabloid Super Express is reporting that a man walked into a Polish brothel and saw that his wife was one of the hookers on offer. You can just imagine the conversation between the couple, married for 14 years. The wife had told her husband that she had a part time job in a store in town. Not sure what the husband told the wife about where he was. They are now getting divorced.

Here's are hockey fight video of the day. They start them young.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyjm3A0N_VE&feature=related

That's it for now. I'll see you in about three weeks. It's off to the family reunion and then I'll need a holiday. Have a great day. I'm Joe Sports.

The NHL season came to an end when Kane scored the OT winner in game 6 in Philly. From the moment the Hawks won the Cup they have been treated like rock stars. It really is incredible how much media attention they are receiving.

This continued with a live appearance on Jay Leno. I don’t really know how much Leno knows or even cares about hockey. Either way he did a good enough job faking it and pretending to care.

Best part of the segment was Keith giving him the tooth necklace. Then Leno asks him about his past and future dental endeavors. Its definitely one of the most intriguing elements to the average fan. Most people hate the dentist and knowing the pain those NHL players go through is amazing. Especially how they play it off like its nothing.

The Cup will continue to be passed around for the rest of the summer. Who knows where else it will go? Have a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nZSwtUGHd4&feature=player_embedded

Just a few more things about the cup. Adam Burish of the BlackHawks had some choice words for Pronger after winning the Cup,when asked about what he thought of “Chrissy” Pronger: He thinks Chris is an idiot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-xLr6nelmA&feature=player_embedded

When the Flyers were cleaning out their lockers concluding the season after falling short in the Finals a reporter obviously asked Pronger if he heard those comments. Prongers response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4dZANtlO_w&feature=player_embedded

As they say, boys will be boys.

Are you addicted to hockey?

I think I am…NO, I know I am...anyone have any ideas on how I can give it up?

So last night I'm sitting down to relax and watch a little TV just before I head to bed and I realize,there's no more hockey until Oct.CHL or NHL.

I have never watched so much hockey as I did this year,yes I bought the CHL and NHL package, that gave me all the games. I must've watched 6 games a week.

So now I find myself saying,"damm, there's no more hockey on". If I wasn’t addicted to hockey I would be addicted to Football(but hockey is my favourite sport), and that’s no way to live a life.

I can’t even imagine life without hockey here in the Mid-South. It would mean moving to another state and I don't want to do that. Does anyone know of sports therapy (cold chills of withdrawal)? It would probably be run like AAA or Gamblers anonymous.

Oncoming divorce... hello. No, my wife loves hockey also, she loves the RiverKings and that's a blessing.

Yes I am suffering from hockey withdrawal, but the garage needs a little help... the lawn needs cutting...spend a little time with the family this summer, we have to go to the dreaded family reunion. Do you like going to a dis-functional) family reunions, you don't have to scream "Oh, Nooooooooooooooo."

You don't have to go. Just knowing that life will go on if you actually blew the whole thing off and didn't attend, can be emotionally freeing.

Ok, I know I have to go, I'll do it like I always do, make plans to stay in a hotel. A safe haven is your calm away from the storm. Having a "Plan B" is very comforting. Leave before dark and enjoy the hotel's pool or room service if the reunion is too stressful. Ok, I'm in.

October will be here before I know it, I'm bored already,.maybe re-runs of Dancing with the Stars and Idol will do it, as the English say though,.NOT BLOODY LIKELY.

Just a quick Kings note: Bobby's off to Europe. The Braehead Clan signed, right winger Bobby Chaumont. 25 year old Chaumont has played with the Riverkings in the CHL for the last 2 seasons. The 6ft, 200lbs Canadian played 64 games for the Riverkings last season scoring 20 goals and had 28 assists. Hockey players always want a taste of Europe.

The AHL will ice a record 30 teams this fall. The CHL will have 17 teams.

The Hershey Bears disposed of the Texas Stars in Game 6 of the Calder Cup Finals on Monday night.

The Hoop

A best-of-seven is now a best-of-one after a night in which the Celtics played their very worst and the Lakers summoned their best. A championship pitting the NBA’s two marquee franchises will now feature a Game 7, one last chance at glory and one final opportunity to watch historic rivals go toe to toe on the game’s biggest stage.

It’s unlikely the Celtics will play as poorly as they did in Tuesday night’s Game 6, utterly abysmal and shockingly indifferent after the opening tap, perhaps knowing that they had two chances to escape L.A. with one win. Tonight is the night. Go Boston Go.

Ok, it's time for Offside Thursday.

Did you Know?

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. I knew that.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321. Cool.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

Whoomp there he is.

Is this Barack Obama in a music video in 1983? You'll see him at 1 minute mark. OK, so it's probably not, but it does look like him.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-FPimCmbX8&feature=player_embedded

Save money

A 52 year old Milwaukee resident has been charged with attempting to defraud a restaurant. The charge could result in a 9 month prison sentence, or a $10,000 fine. The man, who we will not name, apparently tried to avoid paying a cab fare first, and then a couple of weeks later a restaurant bill, by faking a heart attack.

He must have been a good actor because he was taken to hospital both times.He got away with the cab fare. He was arrested after his heart attack at the restaurant (he tried to avoid paying $23 for a steak meal at Appleby's) when a doctor at the hospital remembered him... I will be keeping an eye out for dumb recession money saving tips in the coming weeks...

Strange German Man.

A German man who was so scared of identify theft that he would never use a cash machine, finally gave in and used one, and was arrested. The 40 year-old from Muenster, apparently attracted attention when he spent so long checking the ATM for cameras, devices that would trap his finger prints on the keyboard and signs that the screen was genuine, that people (presumably the frustrated ones behind him in the queue) called the cops.

Oh, and he snapped a pair of surgical gloves on before he actually pressed the buttons... Police arrived and after investigating decided to let the strange guy go. Doubtful if he will use a cash machine again though. Joe Sports has a policy of not naming ordinary everyday smart people in stories like this.

What's in a name.

Shitterton is a village in Dorset, south western England. The local council, are considering changing the name to Sitterton. To get to Shitterton, before they change the name, according to the website, shitterton.com, travelling from London - go down the M3, then M27, then A31.

Other rude names in the UK include:

Cockington (near Torbay), Lickey End (part of a group of 'Lickeys', Bromsgrove, Worcestershire), Nob End (near Bolton, Lancashire), Thong (near Gravesend in Kent), Ugley (between Saffron Walden and Bishop's Stortford in Essex), Pratts Bottom (south of Orpington in Kent), Wetwang (Yorkshire Wolds),

Twatt (north of Stromness in Orkney), Balls Green (between Tunbridge Wells and East Grinstead), Penistone (west of Barnsley in South Yorkshire), Bitchfield (south of Grantham, Lincolnshire), Tosside (Lancashire), Prickwillow (east of Ely in Cambridgeshire), Crapstone (Devon), Cockermouth (Cumbria), Titlington (west of Alnwick in Northumberland) and finally Upper Dicker (East Sussex).

Lucky man.

 Matt Hall's amazing recovery

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CB27K-wIsM&feature=player_embedded

Portable parking spot.

Now she has the idea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXrG28pZXE8&feature=player_embedded

The Simpsons - Moe at Lie Detector

Moe Szizlack, that hidden bandit that has been involved in the most crazy situation mostly because of one of his best friends and client Homer Simpson. This time Moe has to pass trough the lie detector but for him is kind of a difficult situation...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TZ8Z5S9rI&feature=player_embedded

Donavon Frankenreiter - Move By Yourself

This guy used to be one of the best surfers out there but now is also one of the best rock musicians in the scene. His group got this classic but also innovative rock sound that truly rock lovers like. Enjoy Donavon Frankenreiter music video: Move By Yourself. Dance around your desk video for the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3umUxPAWstQ&feature=player_embedded

Mr. Bean Tries to Answer a Exam

Here we have another classic video by the great British comedian Rowan Atkinson and his world famous character Mister Bean. A guy who is always in the wrong place at the wrong time and because of this he is always hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pduqo9mZXUw&feature=player_embedded

It's hockey fight time.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5f_yY5xo6U

Well that's it for today, it's been so hot of late, I thought I'd leave you with Marilyn.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Krl_pXXfKEI

Have a great day, I'm Joe Sports.

The longest drought in National Hockey League history came to a stunning conclusion Wednesday night. The red light did not go on, no one but the Blackhawks appeared to know what was going on for a few frozen moments.

There were just Blackhawks flying over the boards in celebration.Sticks and helmets were thrown, scattered all over the ice and still no signal for a goal. After a brief review, there was no dispute - the Chicago Blackhawks were the Stanley Cup champions.

Patrick Kane found a way to sneak the puck past Flyers netminder Leighton 4:10 into overtime and stunned the Philly crowd to lift the Blackhawks to a 4-3 overtime win in Game 6 on Wednesday night for their first championship since, can you believe it the year was 1961.

"I was just hoping to God it was just an actual goal," said captain Jonathan Toews, the Conn Smythe Trophy winner as playoff MVP. "They came back hard in the third and we just stuck with it." "I knew it went in right away," Kane said. "What a feeling. I can't believe it. We just won the Stanley Cup. I can't believe this just happened. ... It's something you dream about, scoring the final goal in the Stanley Cup finals."

"There's so many great things about winning a Stanley Cup. This is it," Toews said. "This is the best feeling you can ever get. I just can't believe it's happened."

Here's the winning goal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5aLHImCKDc

Chris Pronger, who had one of the worst playoff performances of his career in Game 5 (minus-5), was penalized twice in the first. His antagonistic actions came after a day after he was the subject of an unflattering picture of him in a skirt in the Chicago Tribune. Meet Chrissy Pronger: http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Chicago-Tribune-would-like-you-to-meet-Chrissy-?urn=nhl,246557

The Flyers put up a valiant fight, tying the game with 3:59 left in regulation when Hartnell notched his second goal of the contest. The Flyers simply ran out of comebacks.This Flyers team has mastered the art of the comeback, starting all the way back on the last day of the regular season when a shootout win clinched a playoff spot. It became the third team in NHL history to win a series after losing the first three games when it eliminated Boston in the Eastern Conference semifinals, and evened the Stanley Cup at 2-all after losing the first two games at Chicago.

It wasn't enough and the Flyers are looking for their first Stanley Cup since winning consecutive championships in 1974 and 1975.

The Chicago Blackhawks will celebrate their Stanley Cup title with a ticker-tape parade in the Windy City on Friday.The parade will mark the first title for Chicago's four major sports teams since the White Sox won the World Series in 2005.

"I think the party in Chicago is going to be all-world," Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville said. "Everybody is excited. We had a lot of fans here today and tonight. That support is much appreciated. The city is going to be very excited when we get back." I agree with you on that one Joel. Your boys deserve a big party.

Game Notes

The last time a Stanley Cup Final was decided in overtime happened on June 10, 2000 as New Jersey topped Dallas, 2-1, in double OT...Kane finished with 10 goals and 28 points...Chicago won for the first time in four tries in Philadelphia this season...The Flyers fell to 3-2 all-time in Cup Finals Game 6 (wins in 1974-75, 1987; losses in 1980 and 2010)...Philly also fell to 9-2 at home this postseason.

For Ladd, this was his second career title, with the first coming in 2006 with Carolina and Laviolette his head coach...Byfuglien wound up with 11 goals and 16 points...Leino tied the NHL's rookie playoff point-scoring mark with 21 (7G, 14A), originally set by Dino Ciccarelli of Minnesota in 1981 (14G, 7A)...Briere ended the postseason with 12 goals and 18 assists...The Flyers and Blackhawks racked up 47 goals in this six-game matchup.

Just a reminder: Kings 2010 - 2011 Season tickets are on sale now. To order yours and get a great seat for all the action, call 662-342-1755 to speak to a representative.

Ok, it's time for Offside Thursday.

Did you know ?

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better. No kidding.

It is impossible to lick your elbow. Oh, I'll have to try that.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska. Go figure.

The best of you tube this week.

This Drummer is at the wrong gig.

Have you ever been to a wedding, barmitzfah, or local pub and the cover band plays classic rock hits all night. Does anyone ever really pay attention to these bands? Their sole purpose is to provide music for the evening that we're all familiar with. We're not there to pay close attention to their stage presence. Maybe we should because some unknown musicians are more entertaining then the last concert you went to. This is the case with the drummer in this video. Pay close attention as you might miss some rock n' roll greatness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItZyaOlrb7E&feature=player_embedded

Takeoff!

Looks like the 22-year-old Yasmine Villasana got the wrong idea at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport’s toll plaza. Instead of having to stop, she thought she was being cleared for takeoff. Luckily, no one was hurt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWk4MCQaHrc&feature=player_embedded

Adidas Originals Advertisement videos on YouTube are increasingly becoming frequent. Every week more and more are making their way onto the website.Have a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zd_khk6zXo&feature=player_embedded

'Lost' explained in 3 minutes

Big TV finales, the Lost finale was all the rage. ABC even aired it on their Times Square monitor with subtitles. Whether you stopped watching, haven't watched and wanted to know what it was all about OR saw the entire series and are still confused, then check out Alex Day's explanation. Not only will you learn about everything that happened on the show but it'll reaffirm your appreciation for Post-It Notes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HWECQa23Cs&feature=player_embedded

You have to hand it to Nike.

They know how to make a great commercial. Nike has the ability to keep you attentive whether it’s something as simplistic as Tiger woods staring doe eyed into a camera or something visually stimulating as World Cup commercial we have here. Caution: after viewing this you will catch World Cup fever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idLG6jh23yE&feature=player_embedded

Britain's Got Talent 2010 - Auditions Week 7

These boys have some moves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGlqL-YM-JQ&playnext_from=TL&videos=veNcr2Omv9Y&feature=rec-LGOUT-real_rev-rn-3r-7-HM

It use to be, if I had a million dollars, but that's changed to if I Had a Billion Dollars !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n03OezKHnGg&feature=topvideos

Here's your dance and exercise video for the day... OK Go - Here It Goes Again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

It's a little early for Christmas, but I came across this, "Little Drummer Boy", A young David Bowie and Bing Crosby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMhSjDqvRs

What's Offside Thursday without a hockey fight video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB2aOks67M0&feature=related

That's it for now. Have a great day. I'm Joe Sports.